It’s 2012, alas we are done!
Though of linear time there is none.
The calendar’s round
Wheels turn, I have found:
All are washed in the blood of the sun.
Oooh. Come here little fascinatrix. What? Don’t murmur, speak up. You’re quivering. Here, borrow my bat shawl. There now, what’s wrong? Did your mother take a strap to you at your bed post? Sweet little hussy like you, I’ll bet you loved her for doing that to you. Come in. Careful! Don’t trip now, it’s bad luck. Impolite too. There now, let’s see the secrets of your bottom drawers. Oh a little blood there. I’ll bet you show that to all the men, show them all your worldly goods. There now wise child, I can sell you for a virgin, fresh thing like you. Never touched. I’ll start with $50; maybe $45. Oh honey, don’t be a stick in the mud. We’re all undervalued. Mustn’t have cold feet about that, no no, not the least little bit. We’ll go for quantity. Maidenhead for sale, enough for all takers. Remember be a child with them. Invite the next one who wants to slap your haunch to play a little leap frog. Here have a mango. There you go. That’s better. Let’s get some clothes on you. Turkish costume? Yes, you’ll look a dream. Your stomach looks different; I notice some change. Try not to show. Be for them a light rising and try to smell like something clean, makes more of a contrast for them, yeah? The dirty married men like that in a virgin.
Oooooh I feel a fight coming on. I feel us a fight a coming on. Lord there’s a something a coming on. You hear me jesus? Your hear me Jesus? Jesus Lord Christ anointed son of the fullness of God our Messiah anointed in the blood of the lamb I feel it a coming. It’s a coming. Call down Elijah for us O Jesus, bring us the holy ghost into our bodies there’s a gonna be a fight. You coming long Jesus? I see Brother Dick, I see Brother Davy and all you beautiful brothers and sisters in this here tabernacle. You sir, the guy in black. Have you sinned against the light Brother Black? Are you ready to declare your sins and be washed in the bloo of the lamb, Brother Black? The day is at hand when he shall come to judge the word by fire. Yes Jesus. He will come to judge us that the scriptures might be fulfilled. Elijah is coming. Shout salvation in Jesus Christ! Come on brothers and sisters and follow my pitiful endeverance to explain to you good sinners that we are all of us living in the last day. All that’s done is all for the kingdom of God. Feel it now brothers and sisters. Feel the outpouring of the Holy Ghost. You will be made whole by the power of Jesus. Throwaway your sins and blaze on to Edenville for Elijah is coming! Come on now. Come on all you harddrinking gutpuking bloodspilling gasguzzling facebooking tweettwittering existences. Bring your afflictions for He’s got a cough mixture for you in His back pocket and we shall all drink the blood of the lamb!
I must be getting my cycle again. I’m all bloated and I can feel everything tight on me, and I was just skinny. Must be time again because I got it the last time I cut my hair and it was a full moon then too. Thirteen a year, I wonder what we’d call month 13 and where we put it. Somebody will come along and name the new month after themselves I’m sure, like the romans did all the time. June, July, Coca-Cola, August. It’s coming. So. Look at him over there. He’s watching, starting his watch again. I’ll just swing my leg a little in and out. Give him something to see. See if he can keep time to me. Wish Edy would disappear. She’s always there like clockwork to notice everything and point it out too just to try to embarrass me. Thanks for always pointing out the subtle over and again so it can be nice and obvious you bitch. Reggy didn’t dump me, we weren’t together this time and what’s it to her anyway. I can have anybody I want, obviously, I mean look at that guy. He’s literally worshipping at my shrine! His look is for me and just for me, and she knows it. Scrawny ugly jealous bitch. And Cissy too, fixing the twins’ hair so she can look good. None of her business what happened between Reggy and me. I could get him back any time I want to and I don’t want to. His loss. He’ll come back around and I’ll be long gone! Ha! I’m so much better than all of them and there’s the proof sitting right over there staring right up my skirt. I hope I’m not starting my cycle.
I remember. I remember. That night in the box Michael Gunn gave us, listening to the tuning, its’ own music like feeding time at the zoo. That clown in box above with his lens staring down into Molly’s dress and she on the edge of her seat listening to me. Me. I told her about Spinoza, exiled Jew, glass in his lungs. Imagine a worm in the blood, he said, a tiny worm that can see corpuscles moving and colliding and rubbing together, flowing. The worm would think each particle of blood its own part, not a whole fluid stream coursing in and out of bodies. Just like us. We are parts in relationship together, part of an infinite whole. Or we are the worm, maybe, seeing everyone else as parts wanting to be the infinite whole. Or wanting to be worms. Or a bee. A bee sing stinging and drawing blood, one corpuscle at a time OW! And our mind is part of a larger intellect or is the worm that is to say bee listening in to the parts and has to listen again to know it is a song. She was riveted. Hardly moved a muscle. Beestung lips. I sounded like this: