3:33 am
Curl in bed; it’s quite easily done.
Darling it’s late and nothing you have won.
You see? The point is vanishing,
When: which was what was wanting,
The point: there is everything in the none.
Having my way with Ulysses
The childman weary, the manchild in the womb.
3:27 pm
Return, my darling, come back. You are a part of me. You are me. Come back my sweet, it’s only natural my baby: I am your source. Every circle comes back to the beginning. Every will be becomes is. You are tired, you try so hard, pointing every moment you can get your hands onto toward will be. East! East! Turn me towards what’s next! Oh honey, turn around, come west with me. That’s it. You are unburdened. Shhh. Tensions gone. Mind free. No responsibilities. No desire. I have you. Shhh. You have me. You have everything. Be the child in my womb, my sweet baby love, you be me. No needs. No time. No time between desire and fulfillment. No distinction between demand and supply. There’s no temporality here. You are atoned with the all at onceness of the everything. You are not conscious. You don’t need to be conscious. You don’t need consciousness: fulfillment comes simultaneously with your need. Consciousness is for temporality, for attending to what’s next. You’re with momma now baby: you have everything so let it all go. No pain. No suffering. No fear. Sleep well my darling. I have you my sweetie love. Shhh. Tomorrow is a new day will be.
Exposure by mechanical artifice.
3:21 am
Ok people, we don’t have much time so listen up. I want cameras recessed into the mattress here and here, one in the lamp, one in the plant, and one in the wine bottle. Can we get that wine poisoned? Good. Video people, check your angles and work with the design team, maybe you can find a way to get some cameras into the floor too. Share electricians with the audio people. Audio team, where are you? There you are. I’ll be needing audio everywhere. I want to hear everything. I want to hear whispers. I want to hear unspoken thoughts. Audio everywhere, you hear me? Right. Weaponry. I want spikes coming up through here, and possibly here, and darts or whatever projectiles you brought with you coming from the ceiling, and I think that wall there. And there. Is everything poison tipped? Good. Snake wranglers. You’ll need to find a way to keep those adders out of sight, at least until they get started. Can we include the snakes with the other projectiles? Maybe launch them at a 45 degree angle like a shot off a shovel? Work with the weaponry people on that. Check and see if an adder can take that kind of landing. I don’t know, Google it. Design people, wherever you see eyes in a picture, I want holes there for the concealed ocular witnesses. Everybody clear? We’ll fuck them. They’ll be fucked. Now go.
The bed of conception and of birth, of consummation of marriage and of breach of marriage, of sleep and of death.
3:17 am
Stop
Thank’s Krishna, I need all the time I can get. Do I stay or do I go now? Which now do I pick (containing which bed?) It’s halfway between late and early. Think. Think think think. Ok, make lists, check in, get rational because there’s a now moment just there, you see it? They’re all crowding in now everything else is still. See it? That’s it just there. It’s close, that now when I’ll need to know what I think about this.
Do I go now
What selfimposed enigma?
I was drunk or buzzed or whatever an hour ago, but not hungover yet. Not that high. I’m fine: driveable.
What selfinvolved enigma?
There’s at least three, maybe four guys in this room and another on the balcony entwined in the sargasso friend zone, who would help me scoop up Drunkalinda and insert her into my car so I might drive home maintaining constant uniform acceleration, her upper body arranged along parallel lines to the passenger window meeting at infinity. Unless she pukes.
What selfevident enigma?
The height of the open window exceeds the arc of her body whilst vomiting. She’ll vomit into the door her face intersecting at a 90 degree angle the top of the window (recessed). She can ride in the back seat with a trash bag.
Do I stay
What play of forces, inducing inertia, render departure undesirable?
The invitation from the one to share his bed: the proximity of an occupied bed, obviating research: the anticipation of warmth (human) obviating desire and rendering desire desirable. The simultaneous invitation from the other one to share his bed: sound entwined with Echo.
Am I entering a lair or ambush of lust or adders?
Probably. There are snakespirals and pendent viper radii loose in every coming now. See them? With everything in an eternal pause I can’t know if they are coiling or uncoiling. Will this now coil and create a universe? What about that one? Will that now uncoil and destroy my world? The odds are 20:1.
What personal objects are perceived?
To the north: tall, fair, blue, has a laughing kind of a voice. To the west: short, dark, brown, disposed on the floor, coiled. To the south: tall, dark, blue, watching me and watching me: perpetual inaction originating in and repeated to infinity.
Now then
The simultaneous prospects of each render me unavailable to any.
The proportion increasing and the disparity diminishing.
Holy Mother Public Relations, Inc.
Meeting Minutes
Date: November 18 Time: 2:11 am Location: 10th Heaven conference room C, Empyrean building Purpose: Commission of a sculpture of the Immaculate ConceptionAttendees:
The Virgin Mary, Holy Virgin of Virgins, Mother Most Pure, Mother Most Chaste, Mother Inviolate, Mother Undefiled, Virgin Most Prudent, Virgin Most Venerable, Virgin Most Renowned, Virgin Most Powerful, Virgin Most Merciful, Virgin Most Faithful, Queen of Virgins, Queen Who has Never Known the Touch of Man. Never. Also, Martha, Jesus, and Gabriel.
Agenda:
1. Discuss the commission of a hyperrealistic sculpture of the Immaculate Conception to be created by Martha, a woman of no independent means, currently residing in the third floor copy room of the Empyrean building, Holy Mother Public Relations.
2. Get Martha off our hands. No offense Martha.
Discussion:
1. With this sculpture Mary wants to express in the most more-than-realistic way possible, the experience she felt deep within her body, a pounding fullness of infinite size deep within her most finite space burning hot and dripping wet. Mary very gratefully, with grateful appreciation, with sincere appreciative gratitude, in appreciatively grateful sincerity, expressed her gratitude to Gabriel for delivering God’s message with such gratifying skill and finesse. Gabriel expressed to Mary that the pleasure was all his and indeed, worth repeating. Martha suggested Mary and Gabriel get a room.
2. Jesus proposed adjourning the meeting. And also, if God is an intelligible sphere whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere, the moment Mom had knowledge of Dad might be expressed as an inscribed polygon within the sphere that grows more like a circle the more angles it has. Yet even though the multiplication of its angles be infinite, nothing will make the polygon equal the sphere unless the polygon is resolved into identity with the sphere. Martha asked so now she’s expected to enclose infinity within a finite space. It was really more of a statement than a question. Mary said yes, square the circle.
3. Jesus stated that the whole problem in planning an end of the world (particularly the end of history) sculpture, is that you have to speak of what lies beyond the end and also, at the same time, of the impossibility of ending.
Action Items:
1. Gabriel suggested he could provide Martha with an Immaculate Conception demonstration. Martha declined. Mary said Martha really should reconsider.
2. Mary stated the sculpture should be ready for the perceived if not actual cessation of the existence of temporality currently scheduled for this coming December 21st, though the date might be fudged a little.
3. Joseph will check Mary’s schedule and compile a list of possible alternate dates for the annihilation of the world and consequent extermination of the human species, inevitable but impredictable.
4. Joseph to check with Cassandra’s assistant: see when we can schedule a prediction on that.
4. Because Jesus is so damn linear, he will provide us with an end of the world, despite mathematical appearances that there will be no end because we are already in an excess of ends: the transfinite. And in an exceeding of finalities: transfinality.
5. Mary wants the sculpture to be both fascinating and spiritually enthralling, and as we have no vision of final conditions, it must portray an image of negative destiny in a kind of a retrospective arrangement. Also, Mary wishes to see herself as others see her.
6. Martha requires the following materials: two brushes (one green one maroon) and one thousand one hundred thirty two sheets of tissue paper.
Minutes typed by: Joseph Approved by: Mary, Virgin and CEOBeware of the steamroller.
1:56 am
Our lives are in peril tonight. I know this because look, up close everything is shifting sifting just slightly into newness. Look at yourself, closer, there. Look yourself in the eyes and see that. You are your own deliverance from sin, see it? A different grouping of bones and flesh. Throw your used up old self under the wheels and absolve yourself for lifetimes. Let him crush you like a spider and you’ll walk with the kings of infinite space. Be a body present absent mindedness and chuck yourself under Jagannath’s wheels. Kill yourself: it will do you good.
People could put up with being bitten by a wolf but what properly riles them was a bite from a sheep.
1:50 am
Some believe that the bite from a sheep makes people angry whilst the wolf bite is a mere cost of doing business. Perhaps this is true because the wolf bites everybody and now here we have somebody who happened to land on the bad side of a sheep on top of everything else. Would piss anybody off. That is, the wolf bitten person, has been wolf bitten since time immemorial and will be forever more, and now here’s a sheep come along to finish the job. The last straw, as it were.
Even so, I disagree that the sheep bite would stand as something greater than the wolf bite, even if it is two bites to the one. The effect is equal on either side, a bite from a wolf equals a bite from a wolf plus a bite from a sheep no matter what rumpus is kicked up on the sheep end of things. Here, I’ll prove it:
Let wb = wolf bite and let sb = sheep bite.
My theorem: wb = wb + sb
Proof:
(wb + sb)² = wb² + 2wb + sb
Bring 2wb + sb to the left:
(wb + sb)² – (2wb + sb) = wb²
Subtract wb(2wb + sb) from both sides and factoring:
(wb + sb)² – (wb + sb)(2wb + sb) = wb² – wb(2wb + sb)
Add ¼(2wb + sb)² to both sides:
(wb + sb)² – (wb + sb)(2wb + sb) + ¼(2wb + sb)² = wb² – wb(2wb + sb) + ¼(2wb + sb)²
or:
[(wb + sb) – ½ (2wb + sb)]² = [wb – ½(2wb + sb)]²
And taking the square roots of both sides as one would quite naturally:
(wb + sb) – ½(2wb + sb) = wb – ½(2wb + sb)
Add ½(2wb + sb) to both sides and find wolf bite plus sheep bite equals wolf bite alone, or wb + sb = wb. A bite is a bite and no more quad erat demonstrandum. With apologies to the sheep, for who can blame the sheep for wanting a bite?
Six sixteen which he pointedly turned a deaf ear to.
1:36 am
Look. Don’t you know that if you fuck a whore, you together become one body? It’s old, this idea, thousands of years written by people who were no better than they should be. They say in their most sacred “The two shall be one flesh.” The beast with two backs and the molecules entwining. And more than that, it’s turtles all the way down baby; you’ve just thrown yourself into the den of lions. So far be it for me to put two and two together, but we are each other, you and I. You think we are cultured fellows, promising so brilliantly and indeed we are and them too, though they don’t know it. And we’ve all fucked around: we’ve had sex with everybody. You sleep with him, he sleeps with him and her, and she sleeps with she and she with he and all of us all together form one body of no uncommon calibre. Whatever shall we wear?
The point was the least conspicuous point about it.
1:26 am
Scene: [An endlessly large room once belonging to to all the infinite possibilities but now cavernously empty save for Caesar who is curled up on the floor patting his knife wounds with smooth caresses.]
Time: [On the god mic, sotto voce] Are you ready to listen?
Caesar: What’s the point?
Time: You must stop looking at the point of everything. This particular version of you has no point. Or rather, you have many points. You are legion.
Caesar: Blah blah blah.
Time: You’re tired, you’re not taking it in. Maybe some solid food? I’m a stickler for solid food. Here. [A cup of coffee appears on the floor next to Caesar. It’s over-roasted, must be Starbucks.] Now Caesar, honey, you do know that history is a tale like any other too often heard. But darling, your history, your place in Roman history, is only one manifestation of infinite possibilities. You have ousted all the others and now here we are, at a standstill until you can accept it. You are at a crucial point.
Caesar: But if I have other selves, some which did not die, then they are not to be thought away.
Time: They are, but not by you. You occupy a non-dimensional point, the stilled eternity. Move to become a line, then a plane, then a tetrahedron and you’ll gain some perspective. Trust me on this one. Your other selves did.
Caesar: I refuse to accept other selves.
Time: They are the possibilities you have ousted. You did that. Get used to it. You think you can square the circle lying there in a puddle of yourself? Stand up, man, form a line. Until then you are both center and circumference. Unless you straighten up beyond this particular singularity, that thing you call “self” to which you stubbornly cling, sweetie love, you will understand nothing, and only nothing.
Caesar: Leave me alone
Time: The point is always alone.