1:36 pm
The moon and the sun are the same size. Apparent size, but what else is there for us on the ground? They are both 110 times their diameters away from us. Why the same? Now that’s really a coincidence. Maybe it has something to do with parallax?
Measure your diameter. Then multiply by 110. Now, stand that far away from Molly. Go ahead, you’ll be in good company. That’s where I am, apparently. Welcome to my world. She said she could never like it again after Rudy died. Something changed. She held up her finger. Hold up your finger and measure your finger tip. Multiply by 110 — that’s about your arm’s length, a coincidence? Stretch out your arm with your finger erect and blot out the sun. Go ahead, give it the finger! Feel that power. Sexual. Yes. Yes. Ah. Well.
It was a full moon that night walking with Molly, he on the other side of her. The daughter of the moon and she’s beaming. He’s blazing. Their fingers touch palms. Ask with finger in palm, a little tickle. Touch me. Answer back. Yes. Eclipse me baby. Stop. Stop. If it was it was. Is, is. Done. Stop. Something else.
Would I go back to times before fingers and touches and apparent distances? Can’t bring back time. Can’t bring back anything. Like holding water in your hand. I am the water. Time is not a thing, it is an experience and even a feature of me. And I was happier then. I was. Was that I? Am I now I? If it is true that I am someone, and that I was also someone, are we (this I, that I) the same I? If we were all suddenly somebody else. I was happier then. Absolutely. There is no absolute. And I. I am not I. I am a multiple divided creature. I am we. We are legion. Enough. The machinery of the world is much too complex for the simplicity of men.