Scene: [As McIntosh begins his return descent through the trap door, decreasing luminosity of ruby light burns inwardly. The muses enter en masse from the grid.]
God [On the god mic] And now, the 9 new muses present the 10 new commandments!
The Muse of Commerce: [Stabbing herself through the heart] You shall have no other gods before me.
The Muse of Operatic Music: [Chained inside a water tank] Create no images of any thing that is above, on, or beneath the earth. And nothing underwater.
The Muse of Amor: [Drinking prussic acid] If you do make images, you shall not worship them or buy them. You love only me. I get jealous and I’ll come after you, your children, your grandchildren, and their kids.
The Muse of Publicity: [Sucking on a pastille of aconite] My name is under copyright protection. Don’t invoke me.
The Muse of Manufacture: [Snorting arsenic] Only one day of rest, people, not two.
The Muse of Liberty of Speech: [Opening her veins] Don’t talk back to your parents.
The Muse of Gastronomy: [Refusing food] Don’t kill.
The Muse of Plural Voting: [Casting herself under Jagannath] If you’re married, don’t sleep around.
The Muse of Private Hygiene: [Casting herself from the top of the Space Needle] No five finger discounts.
The Muse of Seaside Concert Entertainments: [Casting herself into a wine vat] Don’t talk about people behind their backs.
The Muse of Painless Obstetrics: [Asphyxiating herself in a gas oven] Don’t lust after married people.
The Muse of Astronomy for the People: [Hanging herself with stylish violet garters] Just don’t even look at what other people have.
The Veiled Sibyl: [Leaping from Windows] And don’t read fiction published on the internet; there’s no future in it.
This was really great reading, several times over. Your sarcasm is even sarcastic. I’m going to cut and paste this and print it out to put on my cork board–which isn’t necessarilly a place of honor but if I file it I won’t remember where it’s gone to. KB
Thank you darling. I spent an enormous amount of time translating Horacio Quiroga’s Declogo del Perfecto Cuentista for this piece, then only used a small bit of it. I’ll include it in the comments if you are interested.