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8:38 pm

What’s the time?  Well, there’s a conundrum.  I might have to cry uncle on that one. Excuse me, please, I’ll just, I’ll just catch my breath.  My watch.  Have to take my hands out of my front pockets and find my watch.  Don’t mind me. Startled a bit.  Was a bit busy doing never you mind doing what.  What is the time you say?  The time, that irritable little gnat.  Always will be too.  No-one can get on with anything without time poking her nose into what is no concern of hers. It is after dark so the sundial will be shaded.  It takes 24 hours for us to move around the sun.  The diameter of the sun as seen from this beach, when the sun was up you understand, but it is now down, but up the diameter is 1/2 a degree and we call a minute the amount of time, yes, time that gnat, the amount of time it takes to move the length of its own radius.  But this particular minute? Let’s see.  I can count on my hands, Oh look at that, back in my pockets, pardon me.  I do have a passionate nature you understand, and it takes enormous control to determine the time once the sun is gone.  We’ll have to take into account gravity, constant acceleration, the square of time.  What was it that Uncle Peter said about that particle?  It has the same properties viewed from every direction, makes it indistinguishable from empty space so in that sense the time the time.  And given that it decays rapidly on microscopic time scales, please don’t look at my hands, without any intrinsic angular momentum.  I’m spinning!  Your question collides with my purpose.  Of course inside an event horizon time-like vectors become space-like vectors and vice versa.  One can no easier move spatially away from a singularity as one can move backwards in time outside an event horizon.  My goodness, I feel an electroweak symmetry breaking.  And me without my clepsydra!  I do apologize, my watch appears to have stopped at half past kissing time.