Quarter after. What is quarter of? I’ve never understood that one. Quarter of, is it before or after? Whatever. Why quibble over a preposition, there is no before or after. Time enough yet. Always time. Where is this? Ah yes, the last time. That’s where. Wait. Have to go for Molly’s lotion. When did I get it last? No prescription. Alchemist can look it up.
[The shop door rings as Bloom enters. A toothache he had been experiencing is suddenly cured]
Mary Magdalene: Can I help you?
Bloom: Yes, a shrunken skull, the philosopher’s stone, a lemony soap, and a refill of a prescription lotion for Molly Bloom.
Mary Magdalene: Is she in our system?
Bloom: [with a drugged mental excitement] Yes.
Mary Magdalene: And you could use a cure for that dandruff.
Bloom: Not for me. Do you mean me?
Mary Magdalene: [Mixing ingredients in an alabaster jar] No of course not. Let’s see, need to rinse scalp with a little laurel and green tea steeped in distilled water. Any allergies?
Bloom: Bee stings, so please not an electuary. Can’t be too careful.
[Mary Magdalene hands Bloom the jar then whacks him across the face]
Bloom: [With obvious pleasure] Why?
Mary Magdalene: In case of reaction. Want to be careful. Anything else? Having trouble sleeping? Maybe some chloroform? Laudanum? How about a nice love philtre?
Bloom: Does it constipate?
Mary Magdalene: Clogs the pores. Or the phlegm rather.
Bloom: Can you mix it into Molly’s lotion?
Mary Magdalene: Ah yes. A remedy where you least expect it. That’s the acid test.
Bloom: [Coyly] I’ll come for it later. You know, you ought to physic yourself a bit.
Mary Magdalene: [flirtatiously] And gradually change my character? You have a bit of pluck! Now as for Molly’s lotion, tell her she wants to be careful. Too much and she will experience a lifetime in a night.
Bloom: [Exiting, inhaling slowly the keen reek of drugs] Yes. I said yes. I will. Yes.
[…] add anything to it. Better to think of the second instead of the minute. Lyons has some bad dandruff. His head just under my nose. He is Irish. Decended from the lost tribe that never went […]