Milly is fifteen but I remember like yesterday calling the midwife when she was born. She was the same one. She knew instantly Rudy wouldn’t live. God is good she said and she knew better. He lived eleven days. He’d be eleven now. If I could overreach, into this now or out of this now. Oh it is a difference of all enormity. I was so proud. I’d give my every eyeblink. She knew at once. She knew. From the first.