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8:02 pm

So here’s how its done.  First, get your syringe of medicine or whatever it is ready and a pillowcase too.  Distract them with the television or something, but don’t let them lean back on a couch or anything or you’ll have a harder time.  Best to do it when they are standing.  So, once you have your materials ready, you sneak up behind the little brat and stuff their arms into a pillowcase behind their back. Then lay them down as fast as you can on the floor.  They’ll be kicking and screaming bloody murder and that’s ok; the screaming keeps their mouths open until they see the medicine coming.  This is why you have to act fast because the little shit is going to be working against you from here on out.  Make sure when you get your little angel to the floor that the weight of their body on the pillowcase pins their arms inside.  Then, straddle the little darling’s head with your knees and squeeze to hold the head in place.  Your particular little brat might be a biter, so watch out!  Squeeze with your knees but don’t crush, as much as at this point you’d like to, am I right?  Then pinch the kid’s nose closed and hold there until they open up.  Shoot that medicine in there as fast as you can.  Here’s a tip — it helps to aim for the cheek because you could cause a gag reflex if you go for the back of the throat and you don’t want to get puked on!  Keep holding the little lovely’s nose until they swallow.  It’s either swallow or stop breathing at this point, and they’ll make the right choice every time.  No praising them after for getting through it.  That just encourages them.