2:03 am
Give me four minutes, and you’ll have your fire. There is an art in lighting a fire, and attention to how you make ready the place of sacrifice should be the true object of any creator: that is one of the secrets. The beauty of any holocaust, no matter how slight your agenbite of inwit, must always be within the purification of your own intent. That’s where we will find beauty. I said we. There’s creation. There’s union. So what is it we are burning today? What did you bring?
1:23 am
Well look who’s here. Him that won’t see me. Look at me. I see you trying not to see me. Go ahead and look, it won’t cost me anything. Or you. Looking is free. Twenty dollars for a blow job and fifty for sex. Sixty with no condom. Listen, I’m no street prostitute but I got busted for solicitation and I have to pay off the fine. Damn bitch cop it was that did it. Came up behind me or I’d have run. If the cop’s a guy they usually want a freebie, get all big and serious talking about fines and jail but they get to their real business fast enough. I have a couple of regulars, but I can’t figure out how to deal with the female ones. Just see them coming and get the hell out of there. So what do you want? You got $20? Look. See? No front teeth. I should charge $25 for that, but I like the look of you. You ready? Come with me.
11:55 pm
Ooh. Pardon. That buttermilk didn’t agree with me. Bad idea anyway. I traveled all the way from Exile, you know the place? City called We Put God There. Anyway, came pretty far to help out here as I see Bloom’s traveling south at about thirty two feet per second per second. So listen. Listen. Oh come on now, listen up. How’s my wife? Keep her off the booze, could you? And yeah don’t mind Bloom, he’s with me. Or was with me; he was at my funeral. He’s not some unibomber type, he’s all right. You know why? I could give you eighteen thousand reasons why. He’s married, for a start. But look it, I have to keep moving or the rats, you understand. Missing a few features of my face already. Just, you know, pray for my soul or whatever if you’re into that. You can do it with more or less care than is good. Anyway, I’ll see you, an soon from what I hear. When you get to We Put God There look me up. I’m in field 14 + 24, row 101.
I’ve tried so many people I can’t tell if I’m coming or going. School for the children, money, insurance question. Insurance later with Bloom, much kindness in him. Poor Dignam, decent little soul, a bit low sized. We’ll help his children up, and his widow, give them peace. Down to me to arrange it. Burned by gold heads appear above the crossblind of their usual window. She won’t have to ascend and descend other’s staircases. Descending the staircase, Nannetti, hailed his fellow council members ascending the staircase. Dual mirrors in a shop window supervise Blazes Boylan, virile, energies rising, intercepting Bob Doran, emasculated, on the downward arc of his annual bender. Jimmy Henry and Long John Fanning: they’ll give on the spot, no hesitation, no questions. They’ll do it purely for goodness’ sake.
12:36 pm
I saw it. I was present. I saw with eyes that were no less amazed than his. I was good but he was all their daddies. Psha! you say. Psha! Well, it has been centuries and he is still the one who makes our gaze more ardent. I see your mouth twitching, unspeaking in nervous curls of disdain. Who would wish that mouth for any kiss? How do I know? Well, why did I write it then? Oh but what he does with words. He writes about eternity using a temporal art and how? By twisting it, entwining it, tossing in numbers and ratios and divine proportions. He uses circles to move time into eternity and more impossible to move eternity into time. He speaks the ineffable. And then he serves it to us on a peaceful golden flame and we eat and drink and slurp it yum into our souls. Oh we are all in the middle of the path of life, locked into a moving now between past and future and elsewhen. Now is real, all else is a feature of imagination. No matter our age, we are all in the middle of the path of life. He knew this. And he mimics this in his rhymes. Here are some line endings:
Mouth / Womb / South
Tomb/ Time / Bloom
Rhyme / Now / Sublime
Rhyme now sublime. Catch that movement? Oh feel it move you. Forward and backward. The middle word of the first becomes the outer words of the next. Forward and backward and forward and backward. Whenever we are in our temporal trajectory, we are always in the middle. Three by three, his words are female forms entwining. His words are like a boat that, starting from its moorings, moves backward, backforeward, so he may move us forward. Ah my friend, take no more from me, my eyes are all amazement. Look at us now, old men. Penitent. Dressed the same, looking the same. Await no further word or sign from me: your will is free, erect, and whole — to act against that will would be to err: therefore I crown and miter you over yourself. And when I said this he looked at me, his sight becoming pure, and he let me know that will is free, to a point. And what’s the point? The point in which all times are present. The point that sent forth so acute a light that anyone who faced the force with which it blazed would have to shut his eyes. The point on which depends the heavens and the whole of nature. The point that has no extension in space or time. The point indivisible. The point that is the start of all geometric possibilities. The one point all whens and wheres end. The point that seems enclosed by that which it encloses. The point that is both circumference and circle. The point which says that separate things can be the same thing. The point that says our own existence in the middle of the path of successive time necessitates these distinctions. Oh my God, the point.
11:23 am
I’ll tell you all about it but first I have to sit down, empty the dirt and stones out of my boots. Woof my dogs are barking! Jesus fucking christ that was a long ass trip. And what have you been doing while I’ve been gone? Lazy ass. Look at this dump. Shuttered. Tenantless. Unweeded garden. Whole place gone to hell. Wow I’m jet lagged. So I’m thinking of writing the whole thing up as a travel guide for tourists. They’ll love reading about it. And I can make a little money too and won’t have to spend my life subsisting on the bitter taste of other’s bread, how salt it is. Do you know how hard a path it is for one who goes descending and ascending others’ stairs? Here, listen to this: My journey to the afterlife took me off the beaten track where wildlife abounded. I met up with Beatrice, an old flame who hooked me up with her tour guide friend Virgil. Discerning travelers would do well to enlist his guidance when exploring this picturesque land of contrasts. We began with that hidden gem, Hell’s capital city of Dis, where we took a charming boat ride ferried by a quaint local who charged us a fraction of the price you’d pay at home. His dock was bustling with friendly locals crowded on the spit of land and as we waited silent shapes appeared, colorful characters holding out calm hands and pointing. The vibrant culture we found in Hell and its sleepy backwaters are an unspoiled holiday destination well on its way to becoming the next Tuscany. For adrenalin junkies don’t miss the crawl up and then down Lucifer’s body. Only then can you experience Hell’s best kept secret — the rustic road to Mount Purgatory. At its end the reward for your adventures will be breathtaking vistas, and the golden beaches at your feet will wash away your cares. Stay a while; you will feel quite refreshed. Once you are rejuvenated by the tranquility of the pounding surf you will be more than ready to explore the bustling markets and lively nightlife that color the charming hamlets nestled along the slopes of Mount Purgatory. At the top of your soul-cleansing climb up the mountain your reward is Edenic gardens and an exotic parade of folk life. Next prepare yourself to be whisked onward and upward! There’s something in this divine place for everyone, and for those of you who enjoy the comforts of air travel your next stop is a paradise rich in history and filled with friendly locals. Enjoy the music of the spheres along the way! Your journey culminates with a must see destination, the experience of which will leave you saying to yourself how incomplete is speech, how weak, when set against my thought! What. I saw that look. Tell me. No good? What’s wrong with it? I suppose I should recommend a hotel or two, maybe some restaurants. No? Shit. You sure? Well, maybe it will make a good poem.
Meeting Minutes
Date: February 6 Time: 10:53 am Location: 10th Heaven conference room C, Empyrean building Purpose: Initial branding meeting with Eve, Helen of Troy, and continuation of Mary Magdalene campaign.
Attendees:
The Virgin Mary, Meeting Host Eve, New client Helen of Troy, New client Mary Magdalene, Client
Agenda:
1. Brainstorm joint PR campaign for Eve and Helen 2. Develop action plans for Eve and Helen of Troy 3. Mary Magdalene continuation of action plan 4. Develop possibilities for negative PR, maybe something new this time.
Discussion:
1. Mary discussed success re: her own case. Talking points were her unexplained pregnancy and potential social disaster. PR push. Damage control. Result: everybody thinks she’s a virgin and the daughter of her own son. She is now widely esteemed with stellar poll numbers particularly in Latin America and parts of Europe.
2. Discussed efficacy of article placement in cross-platform media outlets except billboards; speaking engagements (appearances in dreams, visions, usual platforms), charity functions, direct marketing, and crisis management. Possible planting of artifacts in archeological sites. Problem, Eden: fictional.
3. Eve. Primary problem — blamed for fall of humanity. Expulsion from garden. Also, labor pains. Discussed fault of serpent and Adam complicity.
4. Helen of Troy. Blamed for Trojan war / fall of Troy, labeled a runaway wife but was kidnapped. Fault: Aphrodite. Also, Menelaus not most ideal husband. And Helen from Sparta not Troy.
5. Mary Magdalene. Reputation as notorious prostitute. Victim of slander, possibly at the hands of Martha (sister). In later stages of PR campaign. Discussed her campaign as example for new clients Eve and Helen. Success of Da Vinci Code campaign.
Action Items:
1. Contact apple growers associations in top ten apple producing countries for possible promotional opportunities, or photo ops with focus on developing a more positive association between the apple and Eve (tree of knowledge) & Helen (apple of discord.)
2. Brainstorm negative PR campaigns for Adam, Serpent, Menelaus, Aphrodite, and Martha (litigious). Send intern to look through garbage of each. Have paparazzi follow.
3. Possible ad campaign promoting benefits of epidural anesthesia. (Eve)
4. Helen, face of international shipping? Research availability of 1000 ships for possible televison commercial, print media, and viral you tube video.
5. Mary Magdalene, The Da Vinci Code part 2? Check availability of Dan Brown, Tom Hanks.
6. Develop app for Da Vinci Code part 1.
Minutes typed by: Joseph Approved by: Mary, Virgin and CEO
9:45 am
Buck has the building key and he has my money. Wants to meet later to drink even more of my money, and we all know how far that will get him. Not enough for a teenage girl to get a buzz on. Speaking of teenage girls, Haines will be there too. Beware the hoof of a horse, the horns of a bull, and the smile of a Saxon. Usurper. Killing me with kindness. Part douche, part dumb ass. This path I’m on is long, steep, and relentlessly curving to the right. Three long horn blasts from a ferry just now. Funeral. Burial at sea. Exiled. Dump the ashes and note the time and coordinates. A quarter to.
9:24 am
What are you doing? Me? Oh, I’m typing. Right now I am typing. I am typing now. Here, you see? You can’t see. But what are you doing right now? Listen, I don’t know your now. I can’t know it. Nobody can and you can’t know mine. Picture us together. Go ahead. No, not like that, sheesh! Picture us together standing in a field. We are standing and we see two bolts of lightning strike simultaneously one on the left horizon and one on the right horizon but a bit in front too so we can see them strike down at the same TIME HOLY SHIT GET DOWN! That was close. Did you feel that? Did you feel it? Ok, now rewind, the same lighting strikes are going to happen but this time we are going to stand next to one of them. I know, I know. Trust me. Ok, now we are standing next to where one of them will hit and here IT COMES HOLY FUCKING CHRIST! That was too close. Sorry. You ok? You sure? OK. And look fast over there, the other lightning strike. Did you see it? 5 seconds I’d say. Those were the same ones (we rewound, remember?) but they are not simultaneous anymore because it took time for the light from that lightning strike over there to reach us over here. Ok, so why did I drag you out into this field and nearly kill you? Sorry again by the way, truely. Because I wanted you to see for yourself that simultaneity is relative depending on our position. The now of any event, typing for me and whetever it is that you are doing now (reading I presume, and whatever else you are doing. I’m looking at you sunshine.) You can’t know any now moment unless you know where and how fast. Can any now moment be objective? Don’t answer that. It can’t. It is relativity my dear, it’s relative. And without objective now moments, how can we have such things as lapses of time? Don’t answer that either. We can’t. If there is no absolute now dividing before from after, then no part of succession can have objective status. Do you see where I’m going? When I am going? If successive moments in time depend on our frame of reference, whether we are standing here or there say, the moment we call now cannot be a feature of reality unto itself. Relativity, you see. Causality is gone. Nothing can be said to cause anything now that the now has become so slippery, so protean. Hume says causality is a fiction of the mind, Kant says that the only knowable objective world is a product of the mind, Einstein says successive time is our most persistant illusion. I say this means that we have no free will. But don’t ask me, let’s ask God. Hey God. God. GOOOOD!
God [appears in a thunderclap]: What do you want I’m busy.
No you’re not. Don’t you exist in eternity? You can’t need time to do things if you have all of it.
God: Ok, you got me. I was bluffing. So what do you want? And before you ask, I am not getting anyone to sleep with you and I don’t care if your team wins. Conflicts of interest, you understand. You see the bind I’d be in if everybody asks for opposite things. So hurry up, what do you want?
A question, oh lord, supreme one, heavenly father, mother of heaven, holiest of holies, most beneficient
God: Skip the filler, just get to it, cut to the chase, come on, I haven’t got all day. Figures of speech, mind you.
Do you know everything?
God: Yes. Duh. You got me here so at least ask me something challenging.
Well, if you know everything, then you know everything that has happened and you know everything that is going to happen. You know all the past and all the future.
God: Yes, I know everything that is a part of everything. Yawn.
So if you already know everything that is going to happen, then everything we are ever going to do is already done, decided for us. Written down in advance.
God: Yup.
Do we have free will?
God [blushing]: Oh! Shit. Didn’t expect you to ask that question. Well I did, but. Uh. Um. Yeah. Yeah. You have free will. Sure. Why wouldn’t you have free will? You have it. You have lots of it. Yeah. Um. Anyway. I hear sombody calling me. My phone. That’s my phone. Got to take that call. Coming!
[Exeunt]
I have no free will. I am a servant to three masters, a woman for whom I would not kneel, a church for whom I will not kneel, and a third for whom I ask others to kneel, although mostly I have to take care of those jobs myself.
9:24 am
Milly is fifteen but I remember like yesterday calling the midwife when she was born. She was the same one. She knew instantly Rudy wouldn’t live. God is good she said and she knew better. He lived eleven days. He’d be eleven now. If I could overreach, into this now or out of this now. Oh it is a difference of all enormity. I was so proud. I’d give my every eyeblink. She knew at once. She knew. From the first.